Full understanding

Town-ed w kkp, bought a dress.

Dunkin Donut for kkp and Yoguru for me

Timbre at 9PM

Drove kkp home first and talked outside her house til near 1AM. Well, I realised love is difficult to understand. Would I be that emotionally strong to make such big decision and accept a big change in my life suddenly? Alright, the topic of my single-hood still surfaced. Frankly speaking, I'm avoiding it. Am I that strong emotionally after all ? I talked so much about fyp but Well, its really not my top priority now. In fact, I'm acting in opposite direction from fyp for now. Perhaps, none a right one.

Jo is going to Australia t further studies. I don't strike off the possibility to work at Australia next time after graduation. What will happen between four of us especially when Jo is leaving us ? Perhaps, Australia would be my second home or my top holiday country in near future. Anyw, 4 of us would always be 4 of us because we really complement each other in term of character which never did we have any major dispute or unhappiness.

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Idk why the guilt is so overwhelmed.
Like you know, Shermene doesn't like t explain herself.
The more I say, the less energy I have t continue and the more I find it's pointless.
One thing for sure, I don't have extreme opinion.
Who know me the best ? Definitely is my cousins, my near 7 years of sistership w kkp Larissa & Jo!
To understand me, it takes years.
Is either you take it or leave it.

Hmm, I swear I won't do it agn.

Things can b very superficial.
But I definitely don't blame my bckgrd.
I wouldn't want t change anything in my life yet too.
Not exactly perfect, not very ideal but at least I could feel outmost fam-love which I find it's most essential.
Can really expect all the unexpected from me.

Misunderstanding and misrepresentation I loathe the most but i don't care.

I can't be bothered because I don't find thr isn't any need to explain. I think others will think the same too.

However, I must admit that my view will change tremendously without anyone knowing if I discovered a serious breach of trust and misrep. I'm always ready to put on my shield.

I'm back with my certainty.

Last post :) goodbye.

Feel such a failure totally.

day one tmr again.

off my sight please.

I need some self-reflection. ewwwwwwww ;<

this is not going far.

Don't pester me over it. Just leave me alone for a few days please & let me think about it. unwell unwell unwell. Mom, please pass your virus to me so that I can be sick and sleep for the whole day without thinking much.

A BIG LOVE DAY!

Hihihihi.

I was supposed to meet Jo in the morning to morning scroll but the weather wasn't good. Well, met nbs mates at cck for singing session. TOTALLY ENJOYABLE, get high together!! :) Activated my singing mode, i wannnnnnna go with nbs mates moreeeee when school reopen! (provided time permit). It was a pity that Ahkor couldn't join us. Ewwwww. Victor and Woonlue left us while the remaining took train to Woodland (nearest Starbucks) and chilled. Talked nonsense and had a superb chat with them (Lyncia, Jermyn, Ken and Quanyi). I mean I really enjoy talking to them, a fun loving bunch. We had our made-big-bucks-plan! Yippy. We ended our 2.5-3 hours chill at 1030. Next, I met John and talked til 12.30am. Hmm, he drove me home since the last bus was 11.30pm.

Things have been clearer. I know who I like and who I don't like as a friend. Who can I really mix with etc. However, I'm sure that I can be a damn nasty person. I guess guys shouldn't use harsh words on girls, even behind their back. Respect must still be thr. Well, I am having quite alot of thoughts. Hmm, maybe I'll share when I feel like t T.

comfort please.

I got some psycho problems.

What happen? ew.

I need companion for sport seriously.

Doing everything alone is so sad.

Happy note

Went for 3.5 run yesterday, reached home at around 715pm. Bathed, dolled up in prep for the night. Zhiqi (my friend) came to fetch me first and slacked awhile at Lower Court for 30mins. Talked to Ahkor thru sms for awhile. Ohno, I was sooooo hungry while waiting for the rest to reach also. In the end, we had dinner at 327 first before heading to town.

Alright, Tiencheng sent me and etc to Ratchada, Thai Club before he headed to work. The place was rather fine, no close physical contact definitely. Its just a place to chill with friends, sit and drink while some thai (including ahgua) singing only. Its not a complicated place. Well, police came and warned smokers not to smoke inside the club. Anyway, I didn't drink much too like only 3/4 cup and it tasted like coke because bff huaixuxu added more coke for me.

The birthday celeb wasn't like celeb, it seemed like normal friends meet up. No birthday cake, no birthday song. Hmm, I'm a bad clubber for sure. Also, I didn't seem to enjoy also but I didn't seem to hate it too - neutral. I mean, it's just a must place to explore for adult-hood. C'mon, get a life.

I met friend that I have not been meeting for super ultra long, long 1-2 year? Peanut. I was quite surprised that he told me he's getting married soon. HAHA. Blessed. Alright, I don't know whyyyyyy recently, quite a number of people asking me the reason why I'm still single. No guy wooing? No interests? etc etc etc etc. Well, I said I got no nan ren yuan, no one believe meeeeeeee. Peanut said that I talked rubbish. My cousin asked me whether issit I'm lesbian, need some psychological help. Hey, not that I don't want, it's just that I cannot find oneeeeeee. Even my parents are worried over my fyp progress, sisters too. Whats wrong? People around me are more anxious than me do. hahahhh.

Well,

Mac for supper but I didn't eat because I'm afraid of fats! AHAH. I think it's not very ideal to make the clique irritated, my god-bro will make you life damn nasty like how the mac employees got it when they gave us low quality burger and nuggets. 4.30AM, bro-like sent me and etc home sweet home. Reached home at 515am. 我很早就回了，但是是早上才回。

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Woke up 12pm (forcefully) because Larissa smsed me yesterday at 1.20am for lunch w gfs. Alright, had my subwayyyyyyyyyyy ! I love subway, so nice! A happy 3 hours meet up with gfs totally, loveeeee :) We planned a long haul flight trip in December to Australia. Excited excited excited !!!!!! Joanne is flying to Aussie for further studies in her food science in coming May. Meaning, we will have free accommodation etc ! Weeeeeeeeee. Will fly to New Zealand during our Aussie trip too, driving around is sooo cool. Suddenly, I think that taking class 3A license is soooo beneficial cause its international license :)))) I can't wait totally!!!!!

Oh well, this trip is supposed to be planned as couple trip. Sadly, I'm the only who is single. Well, I have one year to do my fyp! Work harder Shermene. HAHA! If no boyf yet, it would be sisters trip to aussie! & i will still be equally excited. Arbo, I'll find artificial boyf.

I shall go for run later and dinner w parents :)

hehehehe, though I run nearly everyday, i guess my input still more than output. Sigh. Fat ass me.

NBS outing tmr. Timbre on wed :)

I'm feeling so cold.

The weather is awesome yet not awesome. My mom took my blanket and wash. The night is soooooo cold even without fan and air-con & worse I'm without my blanket ! I cannot stand coldness totally. So, I went over to my dad's room to sleep in the morning since he was sleeping in the living hall yesterday night. You know why? Drunk and party man deserve to sleep outside! Llalalala.

Woke up at noon. Lunch with happy parents :) Heavy yet happy lunch. Running and exercising later. Bought all the necessary ingredients for baking at fairprice. What's the most awesome thing to go out with daddy? I just dump everything I wanna buy into the trolley without seeing the price tag! Happiest thing is that, I will walk away pretending to return back the trolley and left him paying. HAHAHA. Hmm, 皇帝女 ：）

Ewwwww, I could feel the Chinese New Year mood now. I wanna go Chinatown !!

Recent plan for meet up in January. Who wannna go w meeeeee?

1. Chinatown steamboat + lao yusheng!!!!! (nbs peeeeeeps ? )

2. CSI exhibition

3. Picnic and fly kite

4. Touch rug game

I suddenly forgotten some others. hahaha.

I was messaging my nbs peeps for monday outing. Thennnnn, I feel that I have missed out someone because the list doesn't seem complete. I think twice I think thrice, I missed out Aiksiong - Ahkor :> from my contact. HAHAHA. I'm so sorry. hahaha.

Goodbye. Have a good rest and get ready for an awesome night/morning with cousins and outside friends later at Thai Club :)

Deep, but not deep enough

I do miss my red hair :) Perhaps next dye would be red again ???? next week or next next week. New year is coming. I love reddddd :) Basically, I love all colours. hahahaha

I'm feeling lousy because I'm always feeling sleepy. I woke up at 8am, had heavy breakfast & got back to sleep from 11.30 til 2pm. My lunch was marigold yogurt with persimmon and pear. Now, I'm hungry again and waiting for my dinner! It would be ready in an hour time :)

Alright, John is now at hongkong. He online messaged me that he landed safely and asked me what to buy back from HK for us. I want my char siew bao!!!!! but sadly cannot. However, I think he's bringing back egg tart, almond biscuit and wife biscuit for us! :))))) weeeee. I'm such a dim sum fan. Canto girl ttm! I could still remember that my mama (3) told me not to be so hokkien girl because I'm canto girl , must be like my daddy! :D Well, elderly is like that. However, I love canto tradition and culture !

Alright, now im playing with photoshop. Interesting.

Hehehehe. I think just let me play for few more days before I settle down and think hard and think deep for my future. Seriously, my habit and life have gotten back to normal ever since first day of new year. I'm back to more health conscious and having more self-control. I always have self-discipline but things have been changing because of that sudden news which I ought to accept, face it. It was unfortunate that it coincided with my school term. The domino effect was that I didn't want to care about alot of things which including my grades and my love. Now, I think I have gotten it over and things are under control. I wouldn't want my parents to feel sad about it so I have to put up a strong front and say that I'm fine, the pain is bearable still. But how can the pain be bearable when the current keep increasing and I jerked more frequently. I know it, my parents know it and I shared with another person. Frankly speaking, there are some serious things which I didn't inform my parents because I know my mom will be extremely paranoid & I don't think I'll be allowed to stay in hall nor I am able to do alot of things like playing sport. I used to have my final say for everything, I would want to strip off this right.

I think that's enough. Also, I wouldn't want to repeat again so the file is closed. Keep it among the four of us will do :)

PS: COE dropped by near 8k for 1.6 but is it still a good buy ? I want my car asap! vbooom. My bff huaixuxu bought his car alr! This means that I got one more driverrrrrr when we go out. I am turning too princess alr I guessed. HAHAH. Well, I still take mrt and bus lahhhhh.